You're Never Too Old to Learn

I am writing this by the shores of Loch Muick which is on the fringe of the Balmoral Estate. (Incidentally, my offer to give the Royal Gardeners a lesson in edgeing was, rather surprisingly, turned down.) When not fighting off deer, red squirrels, midges etc I have had the opportunity to reflect on some further lessons I have learned as a volunteer gardener at Fulham Palace over the last couple of months:-

Lesson 1: Nail Varnish Remover

Did you know this was an essential bit of gardening kit? No, I didn't either. However, one very wet Wednesday a few weeks ago we were set to work in the Vinery cleaning the black plastic signs often placed beside plants. Guess what you clean them with?!

beautifully legible signage

Lesson 2: The Nursery

If you are sweeping up leaves, having a general tidy round you must ensure that this is completed before break time. My recent efforts in tidying the playground, with several piles of leaves orderly sited prior to bagging up were thwarted when the bell went for break and hordes of children immediately came out and started a new game - much to my chagrin.

Lesson 3: Circles or Squares?

Why are the beds of some trees in the shape of squares and some in circles? (All to do with root growth apparently). My suggestion that some beds could perhaps be triangular or possibly figures of eight was not overly well received.

Lesson 4: Good Bucket, Bad Bucket

When weeding, brambling etc always make sure you have two buckets with you - one for the good stuff that Chris A is happy to have in his compost and one for the bad boys, such as nettle roots and couch grass. How the latter is subsequently disposed of remains a mystery.

Lesson 5: Try and Disguise Your Ignorance

The Wednesday Team has recently been augmented by two marvellous new recruits - Alice and Mary. Their friendliness, enthusiasm and hard work are a real stimulus. However, some of their questions have been, to put it mildly, a bit tricksome. When asked what one particular tree (smothered in blossom) was, I replied it was either an apple or a quince (turned out to be a pear).

also not a pear tree

Lesson 6: Careful with that Fork, Eugene (apologies to Pink Floyd)

Whilst doing some heavy digging not long ago, I managed to break the tine off a fork. My punishment (imposed by the apprentices no less!) was to be banned from having biscuits for an entire week. Well, really!!

Lesson 7: Let's be Friends

I've recently joined the Friends of Fulham Palace - an independent charity dedicated to supporting Fulham Palace and all its works (both in the Palace itself and the garden). I know that all us hard working volunteers already invest a good deal of time and effort as it is, but for an annual subscription of £25 this seems to me like a pretty good wheeze.

Jamie Atwell

A (Very Early) Letter to Father Christmas

Dear Santa,

I'm sure you don't get many letters at this time of year, but I thought if I wrote to you now that it would give you plenty of time to assemble the items on my wish list. They are all (well nearly all) designed to assist those toiling in the garden at Fulham Palace. I perhaps should preface the list by saying that I've been a very good boy so far this year - for example, when brambling or digging up nettles I ALWAYS ensure that the roots are left on as, I have learnt, this helps the composting process immeasurably. So, here is the list:-

A Chipper
The full time staff at FP have been bashing on about this for ages. When I first heard about this I must have misunderstood as when I appeared on the following Wednesday with a chip pan I was prepared to donate, my offering was met with howls of derision.

A Cat
There is apparently a gang of fiendishly cunning mouse-surgeons at large in both the Bothy and the Vinery (there's even a notice in the Bothy warning us that "mice operate in this area"). The solution is obvious.

A Knife Grinder
For keeping all those lovely long handles razor-sharp. I appreciate this is probably not a full time occupation - perhaps he/she could spend the rest of their time looking after the cat?

A Launch
Probably not of benefit to everyone I admit, but if instead of making the long and wearisome journey from Putney on foot I could be whisked across the river in a matter of minutes then my timekeeping (and productivity) would improve no end.

A Kettle
The one currently in the Bothy seems to have a life of its own - turning itself off and on as the mood takes it.

An Unlimited Supply of Freshly Laundered Tea Towels
Probably not high on most gardeners' lists, but have you seen the objects presently in situ ?

A Calculator
For working out the takings from the barrow each day and, incidentally, determining the amount of my commission (I always have trouble with calculating 17.29%).

A Gigantic Stocking
For putting all the above mentioned presents in.

Yours in hopeful anticipation,

Jamie Atwell

P.S. It goes without saying that FP would be delighted to supply you in December with as much holly and ivy as you could possibly want!

Living Life on the Edge(ing)

It is now some 15 months since I started as a volunteer gardener at Fulham Palace. I'm lucky enough to be a member of the "Wednesday Team" (first among equals) namely, Sarah, Emily, Ronny, Michael, Michael and Theresa, and Julia. During this time I've had an enormous amount of fun and learned a lot of important lessons, namely:-

Lesson 1

"What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it". The wise words of Charles Dudley Adams (friend of Mark Twain and former President of the America Soil Association). Whatever activity you're up to - weeding, mulching, tree circling etc etc, you quickly come to appreciate the truth of this.

Lesson 2

(This only took about 5 minutes to sink in). Learn from the professionals. Fulham Palace is blessed to have such marvelous full time staff - Lucy our Head Gardener, the two Chrises, and our wonderful apprentices Sophie, Faye and Josh. I was recently helping out clearing a bed for the new fruit trees in the Walled Garden with the apprentices and their enthusiasm, speed and energy put me to shame.
Any question you have on horticulture will be received with a helpful and informative reply. (Tip: If you want to skive off for 20 minutes get Chris A to talk to you about compost!)

Lesson 3

Edgeing. I am now a world expert! There is nothing, but nothing, you can teach me about this - hoes, long handles, half moons etc are but as child's play to me now. Recently, I have adopted a more holistic approach and, abandoning gardening tools, gnaw on weeds, grass edges etc with my teeth like a rat (don't tell Lucy).

Lesson 4

The Barrow. When selling produce to the general public always remember to tell them that rather than putting money in the honesty box they can instead transfer funds to the J.Atwell Fund in the Cayman Islands (account details on request).

Lesson 5

Acquire some earplugs. Anyone passing the Bothy at lunchtime is guaranteed to hear a lot of laughter. Apart from making me deaf, this is a wonderful testament to the camaraderie of the group (both full time and volunteers).

Lesson 6

Shrinking violets should not be invited to look at the calendar in Lucy's office. I'll say no more.

Lesson 7 (and last)

That Bishop Waldhere was no fool - his acquisition of Fulham Palace was a stroke of genius. Long, long may it last! 

Jamie Atwell

Volunteer Gardener