I've been a volunteer gardener at Fulham Palace for nearly 2 years, if you can believe it, so you would think I would be getting the hang of things by now, but alas no. There are still an awful lot of things I find perplexing. To strike a blow at random:-
Heavy Lifting
Apparently, I need training on how to lift a heavy object (and, indeed, in climbing a ladder). After 60+ years one would have thought I had some experience in such matters, but no. You see - I haven't got a certificate. I am still awaiting an answer from HASP (Health and Safety Police) to my enquiry as to whether there is an additional badge for clasping a heavy object to my person whilst climbing a ladder.
Limbo Dancing
Whilst manning the barrow (and by the way, sales up to 1st October are confidently predicted to be £5,200) I'm sometimes asked by members of the public to cut some kale, chard etc. for them. Always delighted to oblige, but why is the netting over the produce so low? Is it really necessary for me to slither about to cut said produce with the ever present threat of my secateurs snipping something they shouldn't?
Lethal Weapons
Whilst on the subject of secateurs, can someone please explain why we can roam the garden at will armed with secateurs, shears, long handles etc. without HASP (see above) seeming to lose any sleep?
Wisteria and Catherine of Aragon
Why is wisteria so spelled if it is named in honour of Caspar Wistar?
Catherine of Aragon apparently spent some time here after the death of her first husband Prince Arthur and before her marriage to Henry VIII. For how long? The odd day trip, or a more settled visit?
Bindweed, Nettle Roots etc.
As we know, these are real no-nos for the compost. So where do they end up? Is there some mysterious garden limbo maintained by Hammersmith & Fulham Council?
Biscuits
How ever big a packet of biscuits I may bring, how come they have all disappeared by lunch time ? (I suspect the apprentices myself).
Mobile Phone
I know that my phone may be a few years old (a.k.a. out of the ark) but why does it produce howls of derision if I produce it in the Bothy at lunch time?
Regards,
Jamie Atwell